After Divorce

After all it comes only to this:
The sudden bewildered pang
As I grope unthinkingly for the fourth placemat and napkin to hang in the drying sun.

 The moment flutters briefly on the wind
And I turn away.


When I turn, uncertain,
In the confused dark,
There is no hand.

When the late sun hangs white in the tired sky
And the birds flying,
There is no one there.

When insect song embroiders cooling air,
Loneliness crouches in the dimming corners
And I wait, heart beating.

Caddis Fly Night 

We ate outside,
Above the creek,
The arms of the hills around us.
The fish leapt,
Their splashes lost in the tumbling flow.
You told me of the Caddis Fly
While they flew around your coffee;
Blundered gently against the glass lamp.

Your hands and mouth were
Warm in the new night.

Daughter’s Dream

I dreamt I carried my mother.

The car had slipped out of her control
With a blind will of its own,
And I thought
I knew she shouldn’t be driving.

We landed in water.
I swam to her and held her in my arms.

Then the water was gone.
I carried my mother,
But she left my embrace,
Slipping free of her embattled flesh.
Irrevocably, I felt her go.
I was alone.

I carried the vacant body of my mother.
empty beds stood all around me
But the sheets were disordered and dank,
Smeared with shit.

I carried the vacant body of my mother.
There was no clean place to lay her down.

I carried the vacant body of my mother.
Seeking to slip into my own freedom,
Seeking absolution.

Gift Token

“Good for a roll in the hay…”
In a field of flowers…
On water-smooth sand…
Polish me in gritty stardust. . .

Roll. . .
Roll me blind against you
Now the fragile handles of your collar bones,
Now the fine fur of your belly.
Sweep me into damp musk of storm. . .
Roll me fiercely, warm, wet, and sliding;
Dark smell on the back of the tongue.

Roll. . .
Roll me again to cover you,
Soft drift of hair and stiffened nipples brushing. . .
Tumble me past all stony defenses,
Through gates and over thresholds. . .

Roll over and
Gentle me beneath your insistent weight,
Anchor me with your hard bones.
Roll me through this darkness,
Soft scratch of fingernails on your back. . .
Roll me open. . .

Roll. . .
Let it not stop. . .

Roll. . .
Roll me over the lip
Of the abyss. . .

Fly with me.